New York Loneliness

One of the most paradoxical realities of New York is that in this city there are 8 million incredibly lonely people living on top of one another. I get lonely. We all do. Most of us have willfully left our families and friends to come here. We assumed that when we got here we’d bond with the other 8 million people in our same shoes. But we haven’t. We dine alone. We exercise alone. We go to church alone. We read alone. Everybody is doing his or own thing. Community is non-existent. We suffer because of it. It hurts us on the insides and we become immune to its ill effects.

When I sit in my tiny Manhattan apartment and sulk in my loneliness, however, I tend to forget one thing. I forget the loneliness that Jesus faced, a level of loneliness far deeper and far more painful than you or I will ever face. How was Jesus lonely? On two levels. On a human level, He was, of course, alone as he approached the cross of Calvary where he would die the death of all deaths. Roman military officials beat him and Jewish religious leaders mocked him. This was to be expected in light of the messianic claims he was making. However, one thing we often forget is that Jesus was abandoned by those who “loved” him as well. Matthew 26:56 says that after Judas Iscariot betrayed him, “all the disciples left him and fled.” The twelve men in whom he invested his life and with whom he bonded as their teacher picked up their things at the first sign of serious trouble and bolted. Peter, the one who previously identified him as the Son of God, denied even knowing him. Jesus was ditched to his death by His best friends.

On a cosmic level, however, Jesus experienced a level of loneliness that his followers will never know. On the cross, God bolted. God abandoned him. God willfully fled. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Jesus shouted. Imagine the most intimate relationship you have on this planet. Perhaps it is with your husband or wife. Perhaps it is with your mother or father. Perhaps a girlfriend or boyfriend. Perhaps it is with your pet (I seriously hope not). Now imagine that person not only leaves you, but actually takes a knife to you and starts stabbing you on the way out the door. Take that feeling to the infinity-eth power. That’s what Jesus went through on the cross when his heavenly father not only abandoned him but crucified him to atone for the sins of his people. The loneliness he experienced was humiliatingly painful on a cosmic level.

Yes, New York is a lonely city. Even if you have a jam-packed social calendar and hundreds of friends, I know that you often feel lonely. But when you and I feel the temptation to wallow in our loneliness, we have a source of comfort. What’s that comfort? We have a God who can identify with our loneliness. We have a God who became lonely so that we would one day never be lonely again. We have a God who willfully moved from his home (heaven) to the big city (earth), only to be abandoned not to his apartment for Friday night moo shoe pork and Office reruns, but to a cross on which he would be murdered. Why? So you and I would, when we die, will never be lonely again.